How many times has someone asked how you’re doing and you’ve replied with I’m fine…?
I’m fine! Do you realise it’s a dangerous word to use as a response? Don’t get me wrong I have said it too and heard it said many times over. It’s a quick-fire answer – but it’s an untruth! I remember years ago when I heard that fine could stand for – Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional…Damn, I thought… I really am fine!! Fine covers up… I feel like shit, I’m fed up, someone has pissed me right off, I’m not going to let you know or I am not ready to admit it to myself. So yeah, I’m saying I’m fine…
What does your ‘fine’ mean?
Is your ‘fine’ a safe answer, not to burden another and to keep it casual? Well, let me give that a bit of a poke.
Is the truth more like…
- I’m fine = I’m settling for second best?
- I’m fine = I could be happier but probably don’t deserve to be, but it’s ok?
- I’m fine = I’d be overwhelmed if I was honest about how un-fine I am?
- I’m fine = I am distracting myself like a bastard from the truth?
- I’m fine = I don’t want to burden you with my crap?
- I’m fine = I’d be embarrassed to say?
- I’m fine = I don’t know how to get out of being just fine?
It starts with you!
If any of the above resonates, rocks your boat or you feel uncomfortable with it – good! My work here is done… Something has been revealed, had a light shone upon or you could view it as life fortuitously synchronising this message and you, indicating that it’s time to sort it out! Otherwise, every time you say fine, you’re kidding yourself! You’re
Sod what other people may think – tell the truth. You don’t have to go into a massive story. It’s probably a relief for them to hear, see and feel your honesty in ‘a bit crap at the moment, but working on it’.
How real and refreshing is that and no biggie!
The truth can also be a casual answer; the difference is you’re owning it. And own it – it’s yours! If it’s yours, you are empowered to change it! It does start with you. If you want to of course… After all, you are alive, the miracle of life but one day you won’t be here. So why settle for anything less than the truth working up to ‘I am bloody marvellous thank you!’
I warmly invite you to a FREE introductory 30-minute call where you could assess your ‘fine’ and keep it as a word you use with porcelain!